As regular readers here know, I am not enamored of performers/celebrities. To say that I avoid them like the plague would be a vast understatement. And to say that I avoid listening to their political pronouncements could conceivably qualify as the understatement of the century.
But, (as they say) some rules were made to be broken. :)
I was lying in bed one morning a couple of days ago, in that interim state of consciousness between genuinely asleep and ‘just five more minutes and I’ll be ready to face the day’. The television was on in the bedroom, and tuned to FoxNews. Somewhere in a dark, barely-conscious recess of my mind I heard a male voice talking. And it was talking in a way that made my brain neurons instantly start rapid-firing.
Turns out the speaker was none other than Dennis Miller (comedian, and member of the aforementioned generally and perfunctorily disdained ‘performer/celebrity’ cadre). I sat up and took notice. And I witnessed what amounts to a modern American miracle: A ‘celebrity’ was making political sense. As a matter of fact, he was hitting the equivalent of a series of editorial home runs.
Below is a transcript of his rant. Watching it live on FoxNews was much more powerful, because his harangue was accompanied by extraordinarily effective visual aids (just a few of which I have poorly attempted to replicate here) and absolutely priceless sarcastic facial expressions.
At any rate, kudos are due to Mr. Miller. He has dared to stick his head above the Hollywood crowd and utter rational, intelligent (if irreverent), patriotic political rhetoric – words that won’t win him any friends in Hollywood. But he’s at least laid the groundwork for a new friendship here in south-central Pennsylvania. :)
I want to shoot the election results through the prism of a brilliant book I just finished called ‘America Alone,’ by Mark Steyn.
Steyn’s incredible. He makes Thomas Paine ...
... read like Professor Irwin Corey.
And he reminds us that the war on terror is like skiing a double black diamond run. We better commit to it and carve this turn or we’re eventually gonna catch a dirty bomb for it.
And so I want to ask a favor of my liberal brethren and I’ll ask nicely because you did just win:
Please please keep your eye on the Radical Islamic Terror Ball. I really don’t care what else you do. Raise the minimum wage to $7.15 (I could use the extra deuce.) Just stay frosty about the Islamo-fascists.
Now I don’t know exactly how we fix Iraq. Maybe Neil Kinnock’s suggestion by way of Joe Biden that we partition off Iraq is the way to go. The Sunni here. The Shia there. The small Kurds here. The large Kurds there. But I do know this about Iraq: We can’t leave until it’s won. And hopefully won in a William-Tecumseh-Sherman-like rout.
If our exit strategy in Iraq is premature, we better get to work on our entrance strategy for the next throw-down, 'cause whether we like it or not this thing is on. And probably on for the next few generations.
And also, Nancy dear ... Now that you’ve won, can you and yours please shut up about the WMDs? Endlessly fixating on our insertion point into this war is like worrying about which entry ramp you used to get on a trans-continental highway. Who cares now? We’re driving. Keep your shockingly wide eyes on the road, okay doll?
This Al-Masri guy proclaims that he wants more of our blood and Al Qaeda won’t stop until they light up a brown paper bag filled with dog dung on the front steps of the White House.
And we counter by trotting out George McGovern, to lead some tactile touch encounter group under the same dome our enemies live to destroy.
Wake up! George Bush’s main achievement is that, as of today, the ‘Days Without an Accident’ sign on the American warehouse wall reads ‘1893’. And the only truly empirical way we can judge Bush (that is, no more terror attacks on domestic soil since 9/11), he gets an A+.
Don’t screw it up, dems! We’re all watching!
(Thanks, Dennis. You’re a breath of fresh air surrounded by a sea of left-leaning, self-important, hypocritical, ignorant, pompous, self-proclaimed ‘experts’.)